Got Brody’s report card the other day and go figure-the kid needs help with language. Like the bakers son having no bread, the writers kid can’t write. I figured a good way to help him out would be to make him write something each and every evening. “Keep a journal,” I told him. I reminded him that while he was free to write whatever he wanted; I wouldn’t punish him or be hurt if he wrote something that was less that flattering to me, for instance; I did have to read it in order to correct it. So, it was a non-private, private journal.
The first night he struggled with what to write about. I tried to help by encouraging him to write about the best or most interesting part of his day. That shouldn’t be too difficult, I told him, since most days ends with me asking him that very same question. Instead telling me, he had to write it out instead. The first journal entry was about music class, he is learning to play guitar. Innocent enough, right? Somewhat, though he did manage to get in a few digs in the writing process. One of his guitar strings is broken and I keep forgetting to pick it up from school to get it fixed. “…there are guitars for kids who don’t have one and I used one of them because one of my strings is broken.” Fair enough. I made arrangements to have the string fixed the next day.
Yesterday’s journal entry was much more entertaining. I knew I was in for a chuckle when I read the first line; “Today at Wal-Mart I had to shit really bad…”
To frame the situation a little let me start by saying that while Blair is home from away he is actually only here on weekends; he is on the Avalon at school during the week . So, as things are tough with a 18 week-old baby I do tend to rely on my 11 year-old son from time to time. One of the times I call on him is while I am in therapy for my arm and shoulder. I am usually there for about an hour and it isn’t far from Wal-Mart so once a week I drop the two of them off-or they walk if the weather is nice, while I get poked and prodded. Brody is given financial compensation for a job well done and Elia usually sleeps as soon as he walks her around a bit. There have been no problems-up to now anyway.
Here is yesterdays journal entry;
Today at Wal-Mart had to shit really bad but I couldn’t because I had my annoying baby sister Elia with me. After a half hour it was coming out of my ass as fast as a train coming out of a tunnel so I had no choice but to go into the boys washroom!?! I went to check to see if anyone was in there, the coast was clear so I ran in, opened the stall door, looked in, dropped my pants and dropped my nuclear bomb on Japan. I pulled Elia facing my way. As soon as I did that someone came in the bathroom and Elia started making bubble and coughing noises. I had to keep her quiet by making funny faces and clicking noises. She kept that up for like ten times. I was finally done, I opened the door as fast as I could and went out and bought myself a Lego Indiana Jones set . Well, that was the most interesting part of my day. How was yours?